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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24833950">And it's my own heart (weighed and measured inside)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veriatas/pseuds/Veriatas'>Veriatas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What the Water Gave Me (Selkie'verse) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Parents Jack and Janet Drake, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Gen, Selkie!Bruce Wayne, Selkies, Tim Drake Needs a Hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:54:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24833950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veriatas/pseuds/Veriatas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first time in his life, Tim is excited to attend a gala. He can't wait to see the Waynes, and his parents are home too! Everything is <em>perfect</em>.</p><p>At least, it felt like that at the start.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Tim Drake &amp; Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake &amp; Dick Grayson, Tim Drake &amp; Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What the Water Gave Me (Selkie'verse) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>618</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And it's my own heart (weighed and measured inside)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A huge thank you to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bumpkin">Bumpkin</a> for their help, and to my betas Mae and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZulieTheProgrammer">ZulieTheProgrammer</a>!</p><p>Title is from Florence + the Machine - Which Witch.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tim had never been to Wayne Manor before, but wow, did it make an incredible first impression. The manor itself was imposing, but when combined with its long driveway, luscious gardens, and all the other guests milling around, the atmosphere was nothing short of magical. </p><p>It was almost enough to make Tim excited for the gala. </p><p>As they approached the front door, Janet placed a slender hand on Tim’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Remember, Timothy. Head up, be polite, and don’t cause any fuss. We need you to be on your best behaviour,” she reminded him.</p><p>“Yes, mother,” he answered obediently, forcing himself to stop fidgeting with his sleeves. Janet gave him an approving nod. Then they were at the door, Jack handed their invitation over, and they were led inside to the ballroom, and he was stunned all over again.</p><p>The ballroom was beautiful, with sweeping ceilings and elegant decor. Crystal chandeliers provided soft lighting, leaving the room and its occupants drenched in flattering warmth. Tim tilted his head up and took in the view with wide eyes. Jack shot Tim a stern look, reminding him to behave as was appropriate for a Drake, and Tim schooled his expression back to neutrality.</p><p>The first part of the gala was boring, as usual. Tim trailed behind his parents as they socialised, exchanging inane conversation littered with tiny pieces of interesting gossip, smiling and laughing at all the right moments. He tolerated the attention of the society matrons, as they cooed over how darling he looked in his little suit, and oh, doesn’t he look so very much like his mother. Tim tolerated the comments and touches, despite how uncomfortable they made him, knowing that his parents would be displeased if he caused a fuss. </p><p>Then Janet ushered him on again, and this time they were talking to one of Drake Industries’ business partners. This conversation was far more interesting - among the business drivel there were several intriguing nuggets of information. Perhaps his parents would be pleased if he mentioned them later; they were always pleased when he picked up on important information for their company. Then, just as his parents went to move on to another group of people they deemed important, the man of the hour showed up.</p><p>Bruce looked very different in this glimmering ballroom. Tim had never found Bruce to be intimidating before. He’d always seemed like a gentle presence, warm and a little bit awkward, but comforting nonetheless. Here, wearing a sleek suit and looking perfectly at ease, Bruce was a far more imposing figure and Tim wasn’t sure how to reconcile the two versions of Bruce in his mind. Then the man smiled at him, and suddenly all Tim could think of was ocean waves and sun drenched shores, a steady hand when he’d felt most alone, and he couldn’t imagine that he’d ever find anything about Bruce that would scare him.</p><p>“It’s good to see you here, Tim,” Bruce gazed down at him, warmth in his eyes. They cooled, just a bit, when he lifted them to look at the other adults. “Jack, Janet, how lovely to see you again.”</p><p>“It’s always wonderful to see you, Bruce,” Janet replied. Tim contained a wince at the insincerity he could hear in her voice. “I didn’t realise that you knew Timothy.”</p><p>“Yes, Tim’s one of Jason’s best friends at school. Have I introduced the two of you to Jason? Anyway, they met recently and hit it off. I was so glad to see Jason make such a good friend.” In spite of the warmth of Bruce’s tone, Tim could hear an undercurrent of anger. He hoped he hadn’t upset Bruce by not telling his parents about his new friends. His worry was short lived, as Bruce turned back to him and said, “In fact, Jason’s here tonight. If you two would be okay with it,” Bruce flicked his gaze back to Jack and Janet, “then perhaps Tim could go off and find him, while we talk?”</p><p>Janet smiled, and Tim wondered if he was the only one who saw the cold gleam in her eyes. She squeezed his shoulder, another subtle warning to behave, even as she said, “Of course! What a wonderful idea.” She nudged Tim away.</p><p>“Try looking for him over by the buffet,” Bruce suggested, before returning his full attention to Tim’s parents. “Now, I was hoping to talk to you about…” his voice grew distant as Tim slipped away.</p><p>Tim weaved his way through the crowd, avoiding any more of the society matrons and dodging the men who had already had a few drinks too many. When he arrived at the buffet table, Jason was nowhere to be seen. Tim frowned. How was he supposed to find Jason in a place like this? The room was so big, and there were so many people, and he wasn’t tall enough to see through the crowd.</p><p>“You wouldn’t happen to be the young Mister Drake, would you?”</p><p>Startled, Tim turned to see who was addressing him. Seeing that it was an elderly gentleman in an impeccable suit, he relaxed his tense shoulders slightly. “Yes, sir, I am. Forgive me, but who are you?”</p><p>The man smiled slightly. “I am Alfred Pennyworth, the Wayne family butler. Masters Bruce, Richard, and Jason have spoken of you many times. It is a pleasure to meet you.” </p><p>That made sense. Tim relaxed fully and took the opportunity to study the man more closely. Something about his gaze, eyes dark and fathomless, made Tim think of the ocean. “It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Pennyworth,” he responded.</p><p>“If you are perchance looking for Master Jason, might I suggest heading over to the second buffet table, on the far end of the room? It has far more of the sweets that the young master favours.”</p><p>Tim flashed a grin at him. “Thanks, Mr. Pennyworth.”</p><p>“My pleasure, Mr. Drake. And please, feel free to call me Alfred,” the butler replied with a kind smile.</p><p>“Then please call me Tim.” Alfred nodded his acquiescence and turned to speak to a harried staff member that rushed up. Tim took the opportunity to slip away once more and headed towards the other side of the ballroom.</p><p>Once he reached the other table, Jason wasn’t hard to spot. The teen looked quietly uncomfortable, fidgeting with the cuffs of his suit and tugging at his tie. Tim grimaced, slightly. If Jack or Janet saw Tim do anything like that they would be <em>appalled</em>. Jason pulled at his tie one more time, scanning the room restlessly. When his gaze landed on Tim, his eyes lit up.</p><p>“Timmy!” he cried out before rushing over, drawing the attention of multiple people. Tim winced. Jason clearly didn’t subscribe to the idea that children should be seen, not heard, at galas. Tim smiled anyway; it was good to see someone who really wanted to talk to him at an event like this.</p><p>“Hey, Jason. Having fun?” he teased lightly. It was fairly obvious that the other boy didn’t want to be here at all.</p><p>Jason grimaced. “Ugh, Tim, these events are the worst! And who even decided that suits were a good idea, anyway? I feel like this thing is strangling me!” He tugged at his tie again.</p><p>“Leave it alone, Jay,” Tim scolded. Jason pouted at him.</p><p>“Fine, fine. Have you seen Dick yet tonight?” Tim shook his head. “I’ll take you to him, then! He brought Babs as his date, d’you know her? She’s awesome. She’s studying law, and she’s like the smartest person ever. I reckon she’ll end up running the country, if not the world, one day.” Tim raised an eyebrow. That was high praise indeed, especially coming from Jason. “Anyway, c’mon.”</p><p>Jason wrapped his hand around Tim’s wrist and led him over to one of the room’s corners. There were several plants scattered around the area, turning the corner into a secluded, cozy space. There weren’t many people there, but even if there had been, Tim thought that Dick and his date would have stood out anyway.</p><p>Much like Bruce, Dick looked quite different. However, instead of looking imposing, he just looked striking. His messy hair had been combed into a neat style, and his slim dark suit was certainly a departure from his usual ragged jeans and eye-watering t-shirts. He grinned at Tim and Jason as they approached.</p><p>“Timmy! Jay! Glad you made it. Have you met Babs before, Tim?” Dick’s voice was as bright and bubbly as always. Tim couldn’t help smiling at him in return before he turned his attention to the woman standing nearby.</p><p>“No, I haven’t. I’m Tim Drake, nice to meet you,” he offered a hand. The woman returned the handshake with a gentle smile, but her eyes were shrewd. </p><p>Tim took a moment to evaluate her. While she was as striking a figure as Dick was, something about her was far more intimidating. She cut an elegant figure in her floor-sweeping navy gown, manicured nails holding on to a dainty purse. Underneath the styled upsweep of her red hair, Tim could see diamond studs glinting at her ears. There was an easy sort of grace to her movements.</p><p>Overall, she made a first impression that was both beautiful and formidable.</p><p>“Drake? As in the son of Jack and Janet of Drake Industries?” Tim nodded, wary. It wasn’t always a good thing when people associated him with his parents immediately, he’d learned. It usually meant they either wanted to use him to get to them, or they didn’t like his parents for some reason.</p><p>“Yeah, but he’s also my best friend!” Jason interjected, narrowing his eyes at Barbara. Dick shot a sharp look at her as well.</p><p>“He’s a sweet kid, Babs,” Dick’s tone held a note of warning. </p><p>“Sorry, Jason, Dick, I didn’t mean anything by it,” she soothed. When her gaze returned to Tim, it was much more friendly. “Sorry, Tim, I didn’t mean to be so rude. I’m Barbara Gordon, and I’m studying law over at Gotham University at the moment. I’ve also been this one’s,” her tone went teasing as she nudged Dick, “friend, ever since we were your age.”</p><p>“Oh, are you back to just friends now?” Jason grinned impudently. Dick gave him a look of mock outrage, while Barbara cast her head back in laughter.</p><p>“Hey, watch it, Jay,” Dick’s voice was exaggeratedly wounded. Tim felt like he was missing something. Barbara noticed his confusion and explained, still sounding amused.</p><p>“For years, a lot of people thought Dick and I were dating, when we weren’t. Dick recently asked me out,” she gazed at Dick fondly, who flushed a little but returned the look warmly, “and now people can’t believe we spent years denying it only to end up together.” She smiled wryly. “Sometimes, I can’t believe I’m dating this idiot either.” </p><p>Dick pouted while Tim and Jason laughed. </p><p>“Timothy!” </p><p>Tim’s laughter cut off. He straightened his spine and turned to meet his mother’s cool gaze. “Hello, mother.”</p><p>An elegant hand landed on his shoulder. “We’ve been looking for you, Timothy, the meal will be starting soon and we need to get to our seats.” Tim opened his mouth to apologize, but Janet cut him off. “Nevermind that. Introduce me to your friends?”</p><p>“Of course. Mother, this is Barbara Gordon, and that’s Jason and Richard Wayne,” Tim said, gesturing to each person in turn. “And this is my mother, Janet Drake.”</p><p>Janet nodded to them. “Lovely to meet all of you. It’s nice for Timothy to have some people closer to his own age, at these events.” She squeezed his shoulder. “However, we had better be getting to our seats. Come along, Timothy.” She turned to leave. Tim quickly waved goodbye to his friends and followed her over to one of the dining tables.</p><p>In short order, everyone was seated and the meal was served. Conversation quickly sprang up around the tables. Janet used the opportunity the noise provided to lean over and murmur in Tim’s ear. </p><p>“Well done on making connections with the Waynes, Timothy. Your father and I were able to speak to Bruce Wayne far more seriously than usual, thanks to you. Perhaps we’ll be able to use this connection to negotiate far better deals with Wayne Enterprises in future.” She patted Tim’s shoulder. The praise he usually craved from her felt hollow, this time. She smiled sharply. “Your father and I would love to hear anything <em>interesting</em> you learn about any of the Waynes, as well.” Tim nodded, but he felt sick to his stomach. Did they really think he’d do that to his friends? Was that why Barbara had looked at him so warily, at first? Perhaps she’d been right to be so aloof initially. </p><p>“Of course, mother,” the words felt ashen in his mouth, and the once mouthwatering meal in front of him was no longer appetising. He ate the rest of it mechanically. The rest of dinner passed in a haze.</p><p>Before he knew it, the meal was over, and everyone was standing to dance or mingle more. Jack waved him off, telling him to go find his friends, and Janet gave her sharpest smirk before both of them disappeared into the crowd. Tim remained where he was, rooted in place. </p><p>“Master Timothy?”</p><p>He was startled out of his daze, and turned to look up at Alfred.</p><p>The butler’s gaze was kind, and as Tim met his eyes he was once more reminded of deep, dark waters. Tim frowned internally, wondering at the strength of the strange impression. In fact, all of the Waynes made Tim think of the sea, in some way or form. He filed that away for further examination, later. </p><p>“Hi, Alfred, sorry. I was distracted. Was there something you wanted?”</p><p>“Indeed, Master Timothy. Young Master Jason asked me to find you and invite you to join him in the kitchens for the remainder of the evening. I agreed, as I daresay the ballroom is no place for children once the adults begin to indulge more heavily. If you would follow me, I could show you the way there?”</p><p>Tim nodded and thanked him, following him out of the ballroom and through a short hallway. Jason cheered at his arrival, and Tim did his best to return the other boy’s grin. He must have done a decent enough job, because Jason immediately launched into a litany of complaints about the gala - the suits, the stuffy atmosphere, and the gossiping society matrons were all targets of his acerbic wit - and where Tim would normally be sent into gales of laughter, he could barely bring himself to smile. Jason noticed his disquiet and asked if he was okay, but Tim brushed him off and resolved to do a better job of hiding it. </p><p>While initially not convinced, Jason soon forgot his worry and went back to chattering away. Tim made an effort to smile and laugh in the right places, and made sly comments about the other party-goers that made Jason cackle with glee. Before long, Tim had truly relaxed and was enjoying himself again.</p><p>All of his tension returned when Dick popped his head around the doorway to let them know that the party would be finishing soon, and that Tim should probably head back to find his parents. Tim’s dark mood returned, but he said his goodbyes to Jason and followed Dick back to the ballroom.</p><p>His parents were already standing by the coat room, ready to leave. Tim walked over to join them, and waved to Dick as the man ducked back into the remainder of the party to find Barbara, laughingly saying that he’d need to corral her to stop harassing the politicians in attendance. Tim snorted lightly at that. He could definitely imagine Barbara doing that.</p><p>Tim left the manor, walking between his parents. For what felt like the first time, the weight of his parents’ hands on his shoulders didn’t make him feel warm or proud. He just felt conflicted.</p><p>***</p><p>A few days after the gala, Tim sat on the bluffs overlooking the beach, and watched the seals dart through the waves. Playful and Grumpy were there today, play-fighting and dodging around each other. But even their antics couldn’t cheer him up for once, because all he could think of was how they reminded him of the Waynes.</p><p>Tim had spent hours talking to the Waynes about the creatures. They’d first bonded through laughing together over his photos of the animals, arguing over which seal was the best. Even the personalities of the seals themselves made him think of his friends - Playful always seemed so cheerful, just like Dick, and Grumpy’s outward displeasure masked a mischievous nature that made Tim think of the way Jason liked to grumble and complain even when he wasn’t that upset in order to hide his sly smirks. Tim strained his eyes looking for His Majesty, the biggest seal, but was disappointed not to find him.</p><p>There was a new seal there today though. He looked older than any of the other ones, looking down from the rocks towards the other two with a gaze that seemed both stern and fond. Tim was barely twenty feet away from the seal, sitting up on the bluffs as he was, so when it rolled to look at him he was able to see it quite clearly.</p><p>Those eyes were dark and fathomless, and oddly familiar.</p><p>Tim was drawn out of his musings by the sound of footsteps, and he tilted his head back to see Bruce gently smiling down at him. “Hey, kiddo,” Bruce carefully sat down next to Tim. “Haven’t I told you the bluffs aren’t always the safest place, before?”</p><p>Tim shrugged. “Yeah, sorry. I forgot.”</p><p>Bruce was quiet for a while, perhaps sensing that Tim wasn’t in the mood to talk. They sat in silence for a few long minutes, watching the seals together. Bruce gently nudged Tim’s shoulder. “You seem to have a lot on your mind today,” he said quietly.</p><p>Tim sighed, struggling over what to tell him. He didn’t want to take advantage of Bruce’s kindness, knowing that his parents were going to try and use it to manipulate the man, but he didn’t want to lose the few friends he had either.</p><p>Tim made up his mind. He didn’t want to lie. “My parents want to use my friendship with you and Dick and Jason to convince you to do better things for their business. They also asked me to tell them any <em>interesting</em> things I learned about you.”</p><p>“Ah,” Bruce’s tone was neutral, “I’m guessing you feel pretty upset about that.” Tim nodded. “Tim, kiddo, if you’re worried I’m going to stay away from you now that you’ve told me this, or that I’ll tell Jason and Dick to keep their distance, then relax. I wouldn’t do that, it’s obvious you’re a good kid.” Bruce wrapped an arm around Tim, and let the boy hide his tears in his shoulder. “Oh, Tim, it’s okay, shh,” he soothed. “This is why people shouldn’t use pups in their schemes,” Bruce muttered in an undertone Tim wasn’t sure he was meant to have heard.</p><p>Tim huddled closer. “I’m sorry,” he gasped out, “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Hey, no, you don’t need to be sorry. It’s not your fault, your parents should have known better than to put you in this position,” Bruce’s words were firm and sure, and they reassured Tim enough that he was able to knuckle away the last of his tears. He sat back a bit, staying in Bruce’s loose embrace, and looked up at the man’s pale blue eyes.</p><p>“I’m just so ashamed that they think I’d do that,” Tim admitted. </p><p>“Don’t be, kiddo, your parent’s choices aren’t on you. You’re a good kid,” Bruce repeated firmly. “What your parents choose to do doesn’t define you,” he assured Tim. Tim sniffled a little bit and nodded, leaning back against Bruce’s side to watch the seals once more.</p><p>“They make me think of you guys, y’know,” Tim said without thinking. “The seals, that is.”</p><p>“Oh?” Bruce’s voice was slightly strangled. Tim hoped he wasn’t offended.</p><p>“Yeah. Playful makes me think of Dick, and Grumpy is just like Jason, with the way he pretends to be upset all the time.”</p><p>“I could see that,” There was something odd in Bruce’s tone, a secret smile hidden in his voice. “I suppose I would be His Majesty, then, in this scenario?”</p><p>“Yup,” Tim said cheerfully. “You’d definitely be a majestic lump of blubber.”</p><p>“Brat,” Bruce laughed. “I would be absolutely regal, make no mistake.” Tim giggled.</p><p>Emboldened by Bruce’s amusement, Tim gestured to the new seal on the rocks. “When that one turned and looked at me earlier, it’s eyes almost made me think of Alfred.” </p><p>Bruce looked over to study it, and the seal turned to look at them again, almost as if it was listening to them talk. “They do have the same sort of gaze,” he agreed. </p><p>As Tim watched, while the new seal wasn’t paying attention, Playful and Grumpy rushed up behind it and almost bowled it off the rocks. The stately looking seal turned back to the younger ones and began barking at them, sounding almost scolding. </p><p>Bruce sighed and shook his head at the creatures, just like he would have if it really had been Dick and Jason playing a prank on Alfred. Tim just laughed, all his earlier worries forgotten.</p><p>He snuggled closer into Bruce’s side, feeling more at home with him there on the bluffs watching seals and comparing them to people than he ever had in the perfect and sterile mansion he lived in. Maybe that was disloyal to his parents, Tim mused, but it wasn’t like they were around to see him thinking it anyway. They were already off on another trip.</p><p>Feeling warm and cared for, Tim made up his mind. Jack and Janet might be the ones related to him, but the Waynes had taken the time to know him in a way his parents never had. Bruce, Dick and Jason felt like they were his family too, and Tim wasn’t ever going to hurt them in any way.</p><p>Content with the silence and the company, Tim returned his gaze to the ocean, and continued his fanciful daydream about seals that were people too.</p>
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